Archive | January, 2011

Till death do us part

22 Jan

It was probably the article’s title – Marriage Meets Macabre – that caught my attention.  “Macabre” is a great word to describe my almost-marriage of 8 months ago.  And in the interest of being just a bit dramatic, that almost-marriage undoubtedly would have been the death of me.  Now despite being in a situation that gives me absolutely no right to judge the wedding-related decisions of others, I cannot help but be a little creeped out by the idea of a funeral home that also serves as a wedding venue.  (Let alone that 10% of the funeral homes in this country actually serve this dual and seemingly contradictory purpose.)  I don’t know; isn’t there a general rule that you, your white dress and your happily-ever-after should be at least 100 yards from an embalming room at the moment you say “I do”….?

Hello, my name is…

21 Jan

So I met this guy.  Not like that.  Relax.

I happened to be out for drinks with colleagues after work and he was doing the same.  From what I remember, the conversation between my group and his group actually started as an argument of some sort.  Over what, I have no idea.  The two groups slowly dwindled down until we were two-on-two.  Then the drinks turned to shots.  Then I gave him my number.  My real number.  I should have known then that it was time to go home.  Alone.

When he sent me a text the next day, all I could think was “What the hell is this kid’s name?”  For weeks we would shoot the random text, and it was all fine until we talked about actually getting together for a drink.  And again, all I could think was “I’m going to have to tell this guy that I have no idea what his name is.”  At this point, he was in the contacts list of my cell as “Perfect Pint”…the name of the bar we met at.  Keeping it classy.  I know.

Here is some of the Nancy Drew-inspired advice I got from friends:

  • Talk about yourself in the third person and see if he does the same
  • Get invited back to his apartment and snoop through his mail when he’s not looking
  • Tell him to friend request you on Facebook (this should be accompanied by an excuse like “check out my pictures from football season”)
  • Have a friend “randomly” show up at the same bar and have her introduce herself- he’ll have to do the same
  • Get drunk and admit that you don’t know his name
  • And my favorite: “Who needs names?”

About a week ago as I was simultaneously pondering my options for no-name guy and refilling my business card holder, the answer fell in my lap.  Literally. Embossed in thick black and silver type font, there it was.  “Perfect Pint’s” name on the business card.  Now where did that come from…?

He’s still in my phone as “Perfect Pint” of course.

“You know how they say ‘traumatic experiences bring people together’?”

20 Jan

Not what you’re thinking.  I promise.

No, this statement was made by one of my girlfriends over a much needed drink following movie night.  If you’ve seen Black Swan (check!) you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Unless you live on another planet, you’ve heard the story plot: Natalie Portman is part of a New York-based ballet company preparing to cast a new Swan Queen in their upcoming production of Swan Lake.  Portman’s character is perfect for the role of the innocent and delicate White Swan but only after a “biting” experience does she convince the production’s director that she can also portray the dark, sexual Black Swan.  Under pressure to assume her dual role and transform into the White Swan’s evil twin, she begins to suffer from wild hallucinations and sinister delusions.

I went into the theater understanding that some scenes would be unsettling – not only because the plot centers around Portman’s psychotic break but because, let’s face it, ballerinas in and of themselves can be creepy.  I expected sickeningly thin adult women who look like little girls, bloody toes and nails, uncomfortable nervous ticks, sexually inappropriate relationships between the dancers and the male ballet director.  This so-called psychological thriller (more like psychological horror if you ask me…) went beyond these expectations; it was utterly disturbing.  I found myself trying to figure out what had been real and what had been a sick delusion in the transformed ballerina’s broken mind. (Hence why I slept with a light on later that night…not joking!) When Portman declared “I was perfect” and the credits began to roll, no one in the audience moved.  We literally did not know what to say or do.

At the bar afterwards, despite the fact that we were all in a unnerved trance of sorts, we couldn’t stop talking about what we had just seen.  So you think a broken engagement can bring people together?  Try seeing Black Swan.  It’s apparently true, traumatic experience really do bring people closer together.

(For the record, Natalie Portman’s performance was absolutely phenomenal.  A week later when her name was announced as the winner for Best Actress at The Golden Globes, I couldn’t help but text my friends “And Natalie Portman gets the Golden Globe for scaring the shit out of people everywhere”.  And I meant it.)

New year, new look, more Bliss

18 Jan

I’m not sure exactly what gave me the idea to give Unwedded Bliss this visual makeover of sorts.  Maybe it’s because I no longer think of my blog solely as a place to bang out my thoughts when I’m overcome with a life I never imagined living.  Or maybe it’s just because, in the last few months, I’ve enjoyed finding photos to compliment my posts.  Maybe it has to do with the fact that this is my 101st post!  And it seems as though that deserves something new and special.  Or maybe it’s because one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that change, whether forced upon you or embraced, sometimes brings you to exactly where you’re supposed to be.  And in that change, sometimes you need to spice things up.  Okay, okay, I’m getting way too philosophical about a silly new header…I know!

I think these header images make sense regardless of whether you’ve been here from the beginning or recently caught up (a big THANK YOU either way!)  And yes ladies, I did think about including a pair of sexy heels but there just wasn’t enough room for everything…!

What might not be as apparent as the photos surrounding it is the image in the center; the Lotus flower.  I randomly came across the following and it just felt seemingly appropriate: “Its characteristics are a perfect analogy for the human condition: even when its roots are in the dirtiest waters, the Lotus produces the most beautiful flower.”

Across cultures and religions – Buddhism, Hinduism, Egyptian culture, Eastern cultures – the symbolism of the Lotus flowers centers around purity and spirituality: purity of speech, mind and body; faithfulness; beauty; prosperity; divinity; sun and rebirth; formation and revival; creativity.  In modern culture, the Lotus flower has come to represent life and new beginnings.  It is a symbol of pure spirit and the embodiment of perfection.   And it signifies a divine beauty that remains unscathed by the mess of the environment in which it grows.

Not such a bad ideal to aspire to, right?

True statement from my mother

15 Jan

“I’m glad to see you’re putting yourself out there and thinking about getting back on the market.  But I don’t need the details.”

So noted.  And technically I’m not dating.

My first “casualty”

14 Jan

It should be apparent that I haven’t locked my social life in the closet or petitioned to join a convent following my broken engagement.  I did however say last summer that I thought I would need about a year until I was ready to date and probably even more time until I could even think about an actual relationship.  These self-imposed time frames may have been a good guess at the time but that’s about all they were.  It’s impossible to predict when I’ll be ready to give love a chance again.  Not because I’m bitter or feel scorned but because love, in the form of my ex-fiancé, bit me in the ass and it’s only natural to be weary of it happening again.  And don’t even get me started on potential trust issues!

An article about New Year’s resolutions not to make advises not to swear off dating this year.  (It also warns not to resolve to find love if you were considering the opposite…)  Through the encouragement of friends, I have come to embrace being single.  While I’m not of the “I’m going to find a man and hook up tonight!” breed, I have managed to loosen up and have a bit of fun.

At a networking event through my alma mater last fall, I ran into an old friend from grad school.  Over dirty martinis it eventually came out that neither of us were in the serious relationships we had been last time we saw each other.  We exchanged a bit of flirtatious banter and then we exchanged numbers.

We’ve grabbed drinks on a few occasions, nothing serious (obviously, have you met me?) and I thought we were having a pretty good time just hanging out.  Then he broke the rules. He asked me to meet him and then proceeded to tell me he wanted more out of whatever it was we were doing.  I immediately felt nauseous.  And dizzy.  And I couldn’t breath.  Why was he doing this?  As pitiful as it was all I could offer him on the topic was a mumbled “I can’t”.  I wish he would have left it at that but instead he made some bullshit comment about shaking off my broken engagement.  To some degree, I guess I can understand his perspective – but I also made it clear to him that a statement about where I should be emotionally was not in any way his to make.  And then there was nothing left to say so I grab my coat and left.

I’ve had a few days now to think about this encounter.  In the back of my mind has been the gnawing question of whether or not I do indeed need to “shake it off” more than I have.  The answer I came up with is, quite simply, no. I go out and meet guys; I’ve flirted and kissed and hooked up; I’ve had a sleep over (sorry mom!).  And I think there’s something to be said about not wanting to put men or finding a relationship ahead of your friendships or yourself; so who cares if my focus these days does happen to be my friends and trying new things?  Not wanting a relationship with this particular person does not mean that I’m avoiding relationships altogether or even that I’m not ready for one.  Who knows?  The right man could change everything overnight for me.  But in the meantime, I’m not going to allow someone else to make me doubt myself or downplay how far I’ve come since last summer.  He was a nice guy but screw his opinion!

Vote of confidence

12 Jan

It turned out to be our usual M.O.!  Now, depending on your point of view, this could be interpreted as a good thing, a bad thing or a very bad thing.

As in past years, our fourth annual Secret Santa kicked into gear with ungodly amounts of appetizers and other finger foods.  And there was, of course, enough sangria, vodka and beer to quench the thirst of a small army.  It started innocently enough, dishing and gossiping, going in for seconds and thirds, watching football (the girls from Buffalo shouting “Beast Mode!” as former Bill’s running back Marshawn Lynch ran 67 yards for a touchdown with 3:37 left in the game…you know, as if he still played for the Bills and we were actually going to the Super Bowl…)  Then the karaoke started.  And then the karaoke got louder.  Then the backup dancers decided to join the party.  And yes, we  then headed out to one of our regular joints where within 3 minutes the bartender was lining up shots of Jameson…

The evening’s highlight was obviously the Secret Santa exchange!  In being such a tight-knit group, our gifts from “Santa” are always just right: a Snoopy sno-cone machine for the girl who loves Charlie Brown’s Christmas (with instructions that she should “use vodka instead of water”); Grease 2 on DVD for the girl who used to put on her pink leather jacket and perform “Cool Rider”; a bag filled to the brim with makeup for our beauty junkie; The Bar and Lounge Deck for the girl who’s always up for one more round (you know, the one that likes it extra, extra, extra dirty); and trampoline lessons (“you know, it’s like a monkey”) for the girl who will try just about anything once.

And what did I get?  A vote of confidence and encouragement…in the form of ProBlogger, advice on launching and maintaining a successful blog by Darren Rose and Chris Garrett, two individuals who have made full-time careers from blogging.  I’ve come to believe that Unwedded Bliss has transformed into something more than I ever thought it had the potential to be when I wrote my first entry back in June 2010.  I felt a true sense of accomplishment seconds after unwrapping this book when I realized that one of my friends considered my ‘just right’ gift to be something so perfectly Blissful.  And it came with a bottle of champagne to boot!