Archive | July, 2011

A 14-month standoff

31 Jul

Well, it’s official.  My 14-month standoff is over.  You know, the one against laundry.

In case you’re wondering what the hell I’m talking about, bottom line refresher- I haven’t done laundry since May 2010.  Now pick up your jaw off the floor while I explain…

It started innocently enough.  I couldn’t be bothered to do much last summer, let alone laundry.  When my mother came to visit, she did it for me (yes, I was 29-years-old but I was also heartbroken).  In July I moved into an apartment building with drop-off laundry in the lobby.  I mean, that’s like double dog daring me not to do laundry.  Sure, it is double the cost of doing it myself but  can you really put a price tag on dropping off dirty clothes in the morning only to have them washed, folded and ready for pick up (to reiterate, in your apartment building lobby) by the time your work day ends?  No, you cannot.

A few times I took a suitcase of dirty clothes to Buffalo with me and magically came back with them freshly laundered.  To be fair to myself, I think I may have changed one or two of those loads.  So technically I’m not the laundry deadbeat that you’re mistaking me for.  Well, fast forward to yesterday when I realized my laundry-free streak needed to come to an end.  I had a closet full of clothing that couldn’t simply be dropped off for regular laundry services but that if dry cleaned would cost me hundreds of dollars.  So I had no choice: months and months of laundry was about to take over my Saturday morning.  While I was at it, I figured I might as well punish myself and wash a few loads of towels, bedding and other basics.

I know what you’re thinking: “See?  Doing laundry didn’t kill you!”  Well, you’re practically wrong – doing laundry is exactly as terrible as I remember it.  Maybe worse now that I live on the 24th floor and had to schlep it down to the basement laundry room; and of course only one elevator actually goes to the basement.  Granted, no one should ever have to do nine loads of laundry in one morning.  Lesson learned: don’t ever let laundry go this long again.  Meaning, drop it off at the dry cleaner regularly and more strategically 🙂


Who needs a man? Part 2

30 Jul

I had two choices: (1) knock down my bedroom wall and have it rebuilt to comply with new building regulations, or (2) move.  After a bit of deliberation, I decided against moving.  So I got to work.  I secured a recommendation for contractors from my building manager (no flirting required); I met with the contractors to confirm where the new wall would go (flirting required, I hope the cable guy isn’t too jealous…); I measured the doorway and ordered a door from Home Depot (thanks dad for all those afternoons wandering around home repair stores); I borrowed an electric drill from a friend’s boyfriend (she did the flirting for me…); and finally, I called in reinforcement in the form of my brother to install the door (and all it took was a few beers and a turkey sandwich!)

Okay, so maybe I do need a man.  Several of them actually.  But not that kind of man.

“I’m gonna mawwy you!!”

28 Jul

No matter the magnitude of your breakup (I’m personally putting mine pretty high on the Richter Scale), there is one question that you’re bound to be asked; and that question will, at one point or another, make you want to lash out emotionally, mentally and probably physically at the person posing it:

“There really weren’t any warning signs?  You didn’t have a sense that something wasn’t right…?”

Oh yeeeeah, I totally saw it coming.  But I figured I’d just wait and see what happens.  (Any other stupid questions…?)

What’s worse is when the question comes months and months after the breakup.  After you’ve had what, at times, feels like an eternity to pour every waking thought and emotion into trying to figure it out.  And no, you still don’t have an answer.  You eventually come to accept it, because quite frankly you have no choice, but that question always feels like a bit of unnecessary salt in the wound.

What can I say?  Not all doomed relationships are quite as clear as this young gentleman makes it:


26 Jul

As I sat in the spa waiting for my first Brazilian bikini wax, there was only one thought going through my head: “Why on earth did I ever think this would be a good idea?”  (Okay, that and “Why didn’t I stop somewhere to do a shot?  Or six?”)  As I waited, I rapidly sent texts to a few girlfriends, hoping one of them would tell me to get the hell out of there.  No such luck.

I was barely done introducing myself to Avenika before Avenika was introducing herself to my lady bits.  Never venturing beyond the typical bikini wax, I’ve been wanting to do this for a while but the whole “front, back and everything in between” scared me off every time I started to work up enough nerve.  I think we can all agree: rightfully so.  A few things finally  made me go for it: I asked an (obviously close) colleague for a referral (Shobha Madison – fabulous) and told half a dozen girlfriends that I had the appointment so I wouldn’t back out of it.  I also figured that not many things I’ve encountered in the past 14 months have been quite as painful as my broken engagement so I could probably survive a Brazilian.

Just like a silk nightie that you wear to bed by yourself or a winter pedicure that no one will see, sometimes you need to do something that boosts your confidence and makes you feel sexy.  Simply for you.

Hallmark is out of wedding cards

25 Jul

Yesterday was the first day that same-sex marriages took place in New York, meaning many people whose marriage would not have been recognized by the state just 24 hours ago can now refer to July 24th as their (legally recognized) wedding anniversary.  By the numbers, 659 marriage licenses were issued in New York City yesterday and 484 couples, gay and straight, were married at City Hall.  Couples waited outside the Manhattan marriage bureau in 91 degree temperatures for marriage licenses.  Manhattan was unfortunately also one of four cities hosting rallies against gay marriage; the other three being Buffalo (boo, I’m disappointed), Rochester and Albany.  Later today, 50 couples are expected to be married overlooking Niagara Falls in the state’s first same-sex group wedding; 100 couples are expected at Bethpage State Park on Long Island tomorrow.

As someone who has recently had to rethink what marriage and love mean for me personally, I’m ecstatic to live in one of the six pioneering states to recognize and accept what one woman, who wed under the new legislation, put into words: “We’ve always known our love is legitimate and now the rest of the world knows.”

Gus is so smart

24 Jul

And getting hotter

23 Jul

Alright ladies, in the interest of this week’s heat wave, give it up: five men you’d roll around in the  air conditioning with.

1.  Bradley Cooper

2.  Aaron Rodgers

3.  Alexander Skarsgard

4.  Michael Ealy

5.  Jon Hamm

And honorable mention goes to Christian Bale, Channing Tatum and Ryan Reynolds.  It’s a tough life, I know.