The bride wore…flip flops!! (part 2)

9 Aug

Sunday 9:00 am: Showering in filth and the bridesmaid-ification process begins

We may or may not have slightly overslept / underestimated how much time we needed to shower Sunday morning.  That and a few house guests must not have realized just how quickly we needed to get to Congress Hall.  Between the two bathrooms, the shower never turned off – we had two girls showering together and another shouting “I’m showering in someone else’s filth!” as the drain struggled to keep up with the falling water.  One of the bridesmaids’ boyfriends dropped us off.  And received a call before he even left the parking lot that we had forgotten something – “Someone buy that man a cup of coffee!”  Mingling/busted knee bridesmaid is still drunk and it’s the most entertaining thing that has ever happened to me; she takes a nap with her sunglasses on.  Bride announces, “This is the best gift you could have ever given me!!”  Hair, makeup, music and unlimited mimosas all begin.  This was one of the most meaningful parts of the weekend for me- all of us together, hanging out, listening to music, telling stories, drinking cocktails, watching one of our lives change forever (whether she’ll admit it or not!)

Sunday 4:30 pm: Final curtain call, and Elena is ready to walk down the aisle 

Yeah, except that the bride’s name is not Elena.  For a brief second, we’re all mortified.  The officiant cannot say the bride’s name for the life of him.  He says it wrong again.  And again.  We can’t take it anymore and begin the challenging effort to stifle our laughter.  Unsuccessfully.  The bride corrects the officiant.  And enjoys a fit of giggles herself.  He says her name wrong again.  Finally, we all manage to pull it together while two of our closest friends say their the vows.  And then the officiant announces the groom and “Elena” man and wife!  Hilarity ensues.  The stylish wedding party slips on their matching shades as we make our way back down the aisle, ready to celebrate!  With Elena.

Sunday 5:30 pm: The girl wary of all modes of transportation is now being throw around in a chair, 7 feet off the ground – Hora style

Now, I haven’t seen a good Hora since the days of my ex so I was thrilled to see the chairs come out.  Before the dancing continued though, the speeches: THANK YOU to the best man for breaking it to the bride that her new husband was brought home by the “blue shirts” last night.  We were trying to figure out who exactly was going to tell her.  Or, simultaneously every guest at the wedding.  Good job my friend.  Once the DJ started playing Lady Gaga, he never looked back.  I think we scared several family members.  Heels were off in record time.  But not before the Bridesmaids Flash Mob.  What?!  You’ve never been in a room getting hair and makeup done with your girlfriends for five hours?  With unlimited champagne and iPod speakers…?  What did you think we were doing in there?!  There are exactly13 seconds of proof that this actually happened: right here.  Not to be outdone, the bride treats guests to her rendition of “Cry Me a River“.  Yes, her intended target was her new husband.  Prooooud of you.  All this dancing could ultimately not distract from table wars, which started years ago when the first of our friends got married.  It started innocently enough – switch around the other table’s drinks, take away a chair, add a chair, steal the table number, take their dessert plate.  It escalated – purses fell victim, salt was put in everyone’s drinks (“She a-SALT-ed me!”), center pieces disappeared.  Table 6 took it to a new level this weekend though:

Loser’s, er, I mean our friend’s table

Table #6 – VICTORY!!

Sunday 10:00 pm (I think): Let’s do it one more time for good-ol’ Cape May

Patrons of the Rusty Nail Bar we’re probably slightly taken aback to see a wedding party, full-force, barrel through the doors on a Sunday night.  Technically the groom didn’t barrel – he barely made it through the door, not having his ID on him.  The bride reasoned with the bouncer to get her man through the door: “Everyone else is 30 and he just got married!  To me!”  I’m pretty sure the dress drove home that point.  We may or may not have lost the groom again (code phrase: “He’s just getting some air!”)  I took the opportunity to get some “extracurricular” enjoyment out of being a bridesmaid.    It was at about the point that a townie offered to buy me and another bridesmaids a drink that I realized I was literally too tired to take anyone up on that offer.  After nearly taking a glass of ice water down my dress (you know I had to mention it!!), we called it a night.  Apparently assuming that all stereotypes are true, a townie pulls me aside to ask “You’re not going to sleep with a groomsman, are you?”  The answer was an obvious no but just for fun, I winked and walked away.

To the beautiful bride: Thank you for inviting me to share such a wonderful and meaningful day with you.  It meant the world to me to be one of your “little lambs” this weekend!

And to the groom: I cannot find the words to express my delight that you did not actually end up in the clink!

Mazel Tov!

(pictures and video courtesy of our one and only Princess!)


2 Responses to “The bride wore…flip flops!! (part 2)”


  1. 11 highlights in 2011 « Unwedded Bliss - January 5, 2012

    […] Cape May Wedding!  Princess’ Wedding! […]

  2. 31 things I know I know « Unwedded Bliss - March 30, 2012

    […] you haven’t played table wars at a wedding, you don’t know what you’re […]

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