Happy Unmarried and Single Americans Week!

22 Sep

According to the 2010 census, there are 99.6 million unmarried adults in the US which means that 43.6% of us have never been married, or are widowed or divorced.  I wonder what percentage of that number have been engaged…?  I digress.  The good news?  Single women make up only 44.9% of this figure so statistically speaking there are more single men out there than woman.  The bad news?  New York, as well as most other major metropolitan areas on the east coast, are notorious for being cities in which single women far exceed their male counterparts.  Apparently the answer to “Where have all the (single) cowboys gone?” is LA and other west coast locations.

According to the Huffington Post, “the days of Ozzie and Harriet are dead and gone and the needs and concerns of a new and emerging unmarried majority have yet to be recognized or addressed.”  While this and other sources cite the long-term economic and social implications of a growing single population that views marriage as something much different from what our parents once thought, I’m going to take this week for what it is – whether by choice or not, the opportunity to celebrate being unmarried and single!

Here are my top unmarried 10:

1. An unapologetic inability to share: my TV remote, my takeout, my closet space, my jar of pickles in the fridge, my wine, my pillows, my laptop…mine, mine, mine #sorryimnotsorry

2. Flirting mercilessly and guilt-free: I have cute friends so chatting it up with men is usually par for the course.  Out a few weeks ago, one of my girlfriends and I found ourselves in such a situation.  There was an attractive guy sitting at the end of this bar by himself and having caught his eye a few times, I declared “I’m going to talk to that guy!”  And I did.

3. Embracing life’s little luxuries: a glass of champagne on a Tuesday; crawling into bed in the middle of the afternoon with my kindle; a home-cooked meal eaten alone; listening to the same song on repeat as many times as I want; having both Tivo tuners record what I want; dancing around my bedroom while I get ready for a night out; my apartment stays clean until I’m the one to mess it up; next morning hangovers that aren’t made worse by the movement  of someone else next to me in bed; three-hour mani/pedi and massages; a judgment-free obsession with deal-a-day sites like Groupon; not having to hide (another) new dress in the back of my closet; brunch with girlfriends, and accepting that no one is waiting at home for me.

4. Comfort of knowing no one is watching: Right now I am banging away at my laptop, wearing navy zebra print boy short underwear and a see through white wife beater; I’m flipping between SportsCenter and Law & Order: SVU, balancing a glass of red wine next to me on the bed, actively ignoring the mess around me.

5. Appreciating true friendship: It took being in the most unbearable and vulnerable position of my life but I finally understood – my friends are so much more than the loves of my life; they are my life.  True friends not only share the laughs and enjoy the good times but they are also ultimately the people who hold your hand and wipe away the tears as your heartbreaking story unfolds.  These are the people with whom you are meant to spend the rest of your life with.

6. Making memories in a random and unplanned way: This past Labor Day weekend (you know, “engagement D-day”), we didn’t refer to or even reference it – instead we had nothing more than mani/pedis planned.  Afterwards we swung into a bar for bloodies, and then another for a few beers and college football.  We eventually discovered a drink called the orange crush (orange vodka and OJ) – game changer.  We went home, showered and met back up for dinner and martinis.  It eventually turned into my favorite type of night – when no single thing in particular happens but you end up having a fabulous time and talking about it for days.  Just two of us at our favorite neighborhood bars (yes mom, plural), vodka drinks, pickle back shots (plural), karaoke, flirting with boys (plural)…the hangover was so worth it the next morning.

7. Embracing new experiences is not only tolerated; it’s encouraged: sushi making classholiday BBQ in – gasp – Queens; the Chicago half marathon; splurging on myself; standing up for myself; meeting new people; meeting serial killers; volunteering; boozing up and visiting Babeland; vacationing with friends (during a hurricane); finding new hobbies; starting over.  (Note to my brother: we need to schedule our motorcycle course).

8. Butterflies: In the moments when I’m not completely overwhelmed by the idea of trusting someone again, the idea of falling in love is heart-stoppingly thrilling.  Even if falling in love last time almost stopped my heart altogether…

9. Finding “Miss Independent”: There is something to be said about finding out exactly what I’m capable of on my own.  Even when I make these discoveries through the support of my friends and family.  I regularly try to remind myself of my mother’s comment last October: “See, look what you can do on your own” – and more often than not it keeps me going.  On my own.

10. Do you really have to ask?  Unwedded Bliss!

Cheers to Unmarried and Single Americans Week!


5 Responses to “Happy Unmarried and Single Americans Week!”


  1. What I am grateful for this year 2.0 « Unwedded Bliss - November 26, 2011

    […] Contently sleeping in the middle of my bed, no longer lonely that someone isn’t on the other side.  In that interest, putting last year behind me and embracing new opportunities not as distractions or strategies to “get through” but instead as novel experiences of my choosing and refreshing movements forward. […]

  2. 11 highlights in 2011 « Unwedded Bliss - January 5, 2012

    […] Embracing Single Life […]

  3. 11 highlights in 2011 « Unwedded Bliss - January 5, 2012

    […] Embracing Single Life. […]

  4. 31 things I know I know « Unwedded Bliss - March 30, 2012

    […] life-enhancing things to do: embrace life’s little luxuries; feel encouraged by new experiences; and make […]

  5. Happy Unmarried and Single Americans Week…take deux! « Unwedded Bliss - October 2, 2012

    […] and Single Americans Week, I did a quick Google search just to see where things stand from last year.  Up a few million, there are 102 million unmarried people in the US, 62% of which have never been […]

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