“The Rules” (circa 2010)

13 Oct

I was looking for something in my inbox yesterday when I came across an email from one of the girls. Dated 6/29/10.  Almost five weeks to the day that my engagement ended.  It sounds crazy to even me now but at the time I was a serious mess: drinking my meals; staying out until all hours of the night to avoid the then “our” apartment; acceptimg bribes of booze from girlfriends to “just eat something”; ending each horrible day with a sleeping pill nightcap.  Anyway, at one point one of the girls gave me “The Rules.”  They’re simple, and they’re clear.  And she stands by them today…and so should you post any breakup! (Trust me, she’s a professional. No, really…she’s an administrator at a rehab center.  And yes, I did just use one of our favorite wingman lines when we’re chatting it up with men over drinks…)

Anyway, here they are:

1) don’t die
2) don’t get addicted
3) don’t get arrested
4) don’t get anorexic
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